A Letter to the Girl who is Never Chosen

To the Girl who is Never Chosen,

Let me start off by telling you something that you desperately need to hear right now and I’m going to be very, very blunt. 


If you ever doubt that… please don’t. You may question your worth. You may question their love for you. But please don’t even for a second, question your love for yourself. You are so beyond worthy of so very much. 

But let’s talk about the most basic level of worth… you are NOT an optional thing. 

I get it. You love him/her. (Please know when I say one pronoun, I mean ALL. Take what you need-just hear me). You love so much and with so much intensity, that just an ounce of their love and time is more than nothing. That if you just get them to see that you love them THAT much to accept what they can give (the scraps, let’s be honest), they certainly will choose you… eventually… when they can. 

Besides, there aren’t any other suitors in the wings waiting to sweep you off your feet… this love is THE ONE. 

Of course, that is… until the next ONE… who does basically the exact same thing. But that’s how it is for you, right? This must be how love is or at least how it is for you. It’s your love karma, somehow. 

Except its not. It’s so not. 

You’re waiting for the wrong person to choose you. 

You are taking a lukewarm bath with no bubbles and telling yourself that it’s good enough because at least you’re getting clean. 

Stand up. Get out of the tub. Turn on the hot water, get out the lavender bath salts, the herbal bubble bath, throw some damn rose petals on top, and sink in… with a glass of your favorite wine. 

Choose the warm bath.

CHOOSE yourself. 

The reason you continue the cycle of not getting chosen is because you’re putting out energy into the universe that says you’re ok with the lukewarm bath… the lukewarm love…. with the hopes that it will get warmer. But, that’s not how it works. Because if they could have fully loved you… they would be loving you right now. 

So, take the super extra bubble bath, channel your inner Lizzo, and tell the Universe that you choose you and will accept nothing less than a partner that adds that same level of love to your life that you do. 

And believe me, when someone chooses you in the way that you choose you, at that moment you will realize just how worth it not settling for anything less truly is. 

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kaur 

P.S. I love you, too. 

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Virginia Beach, VA Writer/ Massage Therapist/ Good Vibes Junkie

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