Yup, I said it… fight me.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that it is a beautiful thing to want to grow, to be better, to do more. However, the word “resolution” has a certain kinda feeling about it. There are underlying connotations that unofficially are tied into the word. Here are the “lies” that we tell ourselves about our resolutions and why it makes me cringe when I hear that word.
- “This will be the year I ‘fix’ XYZ about myself” – No, just no. You came in to 2019 as the product of what you learned, experienced, conquered, and grew from in the previous year. You don’t need to FIX a damn thing… you are NOT broken in anyway. This is where you are in your journey and I am glad you are exactly who and what you are in this moment. You went through some crap last year. When you started the year, you didn’t know that crap was coming your way. I commend you for all the hurdles that you jumped to be who you are right now.
- “Starting Jan. 1, everything is going to be different.” – Why? How? All that happened is that you changed from one paper calendar with a puppy on the cover to another paper calendar with a different set of puppies. Jan. 1 is just one day. There is no magic switch where EVERYTHING is going to change and that pressure is completely unnecessary. Got some things you wanna change and do and accomplish? Sweet! Me too… let’s make a list and make small changes over time- across the entirety of our calendars and keep growing day by day by day.
- “I am just gonna blow my resolutions anyways! We ALL do!” – Then what is the point? The word “resolution” has this connotation of being this silly thing that we set each year because it is a societal expectation to have a few to talk about in polite conversation, but they don’t actually mean anything. Then, just don’t. I don’t set ‘resolutions’ for myself because people don’t take that word seriously. I set goals… and technically, I set one improbable goal each year- a goal that is a challenge to my inner badassery. But, I set it with every intention of achieving it by the end of the year and I make all of my small steps about that focus. Sure, I have things I want to accomplish this year in my massage and jewelry businesses, I have things I want to do in the realm of my own self development… but, my improbable goal this year is to run a 5K (this is huge for me because, I am not built for speed, or running, or things I don’t like doing). But, I’m not making a ‘resolution’ to run 5 days a week starting Jan. 1 that I would never actually keep. Words have power.
I am still working on my 2019 goals… I have so many things I want to accomplish in life, so its always a work in progress to determine what I want to do this year. But, I know what I don’t want to do… I don’t want to diminish my light or make my goals feel small by equating them to a silly tradition we just go through the motions for.
I have a word this year: Roots. This is my theme… to grow roots in my business, to return to my roots as a healer, to buy a home or come damned close to being ready to… to create a life that is authentic to my soul, stable in my needs for my son and I to feel at ease, and to find peace in the motions of my day. The goals that I develop for myself this year will all be tied into that word, that feeling, that need.
And I will not fail… not in January… not ever.