I feel like I should rename this section of the blog because that scale ISN’T moving. I haven’t even looked at it in over a week. At the start of all this, I was obsessing over that number. Staring constantly at it as if I was willing for it to move like some weight loss ouija board. But, that’s not how it works apparently.
For those who have been following the chaos that has been my journey, I started studying for my Certified Personal Trainer exam back in May and became a Coach with Beachbody in June so it has certainly been a whirlwind the past month of studying, learning, working out, and realizing that I have absolutely no reason to be attempting to get back into the dating scene when I am still all up in my feels about my ex. Soooo…. here we are, a little bit of chaos, a whole lot of busy, and trying not to eat myself into the bed permanently. The good thing is, since I’ve started this way of living, I don’t crave the more harmful foods like donuts and french fries. I crave sushi and good chicken tacos. So that certainly does help. Also, I’ve been weight training consistently so I am seeing my shape change and my peers and clients are taking note.
As the saying goes, don’t take the advice of anyone who’s never actually done anything. So, despite the scale not moving, progress is being made and it is allowing me to help others now join me on this path and feel more confident and healthy in their own lives.
Confidence has been a huge thing for me recently. I’ve been really struggling to find who I am without my other half or ANYONE else for that matter. It is getting better. I bought my first 2 piece bathing suit. I started wearing shorts in public. These things seem normal, but for the girl who is perpetually the “fat girl” in the room, it is a huge shift. I actually overheard that an older gentleman had been speaking to one of the trainers about me recently and said what was strangely one of the most motivating statements (at least for me) to date.
“When you first see her, she looks like she could kick your ass. But, then you see her and realize she is just really, really pretty.”
I cried a little. I have to admit. I’m so used to being “pretty for a fat girl” or the “big girl with the pretty face.” I will take “she looks like she could kick my ass” any day of the week over “she looks like she likes cake.”
So… my focuses right now aren’t on that number, they are on that feeling. I am seeking mental and physical strength…and some of that emotional strength, too. I want to help others, help myself, stay consistent…and pass this damn exam!!!